No novel, but lots of other writing

Josh is really getting into the warm, bright evenings and just doesn’t want to sleep. I don’t blame him, but all the late nights are making him grumpy. It also means that I get little time to myself – which sounds selfish, but it is nice to have a shower without someone bursting in on you demanding something!

It was after 10:00 when he’d gone to sleep and by the time I’d finished the washing up, I didn’t really feel in the right frame of mind for writing anything. I spent about half an hour re-reading parts of Rebecca just to unwind a bit.

But it’s not been a completely wasted day as far as writing is concerned. I’ve almost got the company brochure drafted.

That’s been a bit of a nightmare project. Although I work for the company, getting consistent information out of anyone is practically impossible. No one can even agree on what products we make or sell!

But it was especially hard to write it because I’d put myself under pressure to get it perfect – and that is impossible. It could always be better, and someone will always be able to pick fault with whatever is finally printed. And after nearly ten years of writing marketing bumpf, I really should know this and be a bit more thick skinned – but I suppose I lost my guard.

I’d called up a design agency that had been working with the company before I joined, and said that I was re-drafting the brochure, would they be interested?

‘Are you sure that’s a good idea?’ they said.

‘How do you mean?’ I asked.

‘You should really get someone who knows what they’re doing to write it. It’s not the sort of thing that just anyone can do,’ they said.

Indignation and self doubt immediately followed. My rational mind told me that of course they didn’t want me to write it – they would get a lot more money if they manage the whole project. ‘Huh, I told myself. Don’t know what I’m doing, eh? I’ll show them!’

A fair enough thought, but not very helpful when you’re just trying to get words on the page and order your ideas. So I kind of froze in the writing. I had a week booked off work, and when I came back I had to catch up on emails, tidy my desk, help people sort out their computers – all sorts of things other than writing. I suppose I got writer’s block – I just couldn’t do it. I couldn’t write the perfect brochure.

Then I realised that I was being pathetic and the rational side of my mind kicked in again. I decided that I wouldn’t use that agency any more – it’s petty, but it made me feel so much better.

And then I just made myself write. I found an empty office with no computer or phone, and just wrote by hand. I wrote tons and tons of rubbish – but in the end I’ve nearly got a complete brochure, and I’m not blocked any more.

I’ve still not written any more of my novel, though. And after this stupidly long post, I’ve not got an early night in either!

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Filed under Anxiety, Children, copywriting, Housework, Self sabotage, Writing

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